This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
