I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
