I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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