Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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