Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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