how hairy? two words: wookie tits
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
