These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
