pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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