this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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