he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
