Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
