i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
