Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
your parents love me but you hate me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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