Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I forget how to act sober
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
