let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
