My friends, they love my intelligence
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you didnt know i had herpes?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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