Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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