UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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