Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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