I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
