glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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