I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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