you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
