the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
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You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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