Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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