When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize