Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
