so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
