I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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