sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
