"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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