before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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