So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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