How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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