just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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