This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize