I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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