Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
