do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize