Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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