I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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