Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
