PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize