she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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