Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
