just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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