Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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