I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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