Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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