I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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