How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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