Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
