ya dads aren't the best wingmen
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
