Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize