the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
