you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
