Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
