..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i out mim tonsoeep
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
