We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
