Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
