Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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